I wish I could always be optimistic but the reason I started this blog was to be honest. So I have to come clean and admit that this past weekend was rough. I want to be happy - I mean, who doesn't?! - but sometimes it's just hard. St. Patrick's Day for us was bittersweet, mostly bitter. Last year we didn't do anything special but we spent the day together as a family. We took the kids to the model train museum in Balboa Park because I remember it was rainy and grey. This year the sun was shining and it was glorious but the day felt empty without Dan. I try so hard not to be upset in front of the kids but sometimes they're the only ones around to give me a hug when I'm sad. Then it makes me feel terrible that poor M&P have to step up and be tough for their Mom at such a tender age. Every day I'm trying to do my best - some days I'm a great Mom, some days I'm not even close. All I know is I'll be looking forward to next St. Patrick's Day with Dan - even if we don't do a darn thing to celebrate.
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