Day 22: We made it!

I know our blog only says 22 days but today is officially the end of our first (really second) month of Dan's deployment. I am over the moon to be able to cross all those days off the calendar!

I wanted to start something for the kids so they can see the countdown until their Daddy comes home. Originally we were going to make a paper chain and take off a link each day but really, the idea of a chain with 295 links seemed straight up depressing. Now I'm thinking marbles or buttons or something that we can transfer from one jar to another each day. If anyone has ideas, please share! I'd love to help them visualize our progress!

Day 21: My little helper

Every day I'm reminded how quickly our kids are growing up and how tough I know this is for Dan. Tonight we came home from work and M promptly reminded me that tomorrow is garbage day. My son has loved trash since the day he was born and has forever been counting down the days until he can be responsible for taking out the bins. Tonight I let him wheel them down to the curb all by himself. The look on his face was priceless. He was so excited and so proud of himself (as was his Mom!)

Day 20: Long distance parenting

Lately we've been having some disciplinary trouble with M. I think he's internalizing all of his feelings about Dan being away and instead of getting upset and talking about it he's acting out. It's hard to watch him be so frustrated because I know it's all stemming from a place of sadness and the inability to really wrap his little mind around what is happening. Fortunately Dan was able to talk to him tonight and provide some parental support in terms of letting M know that certain behavior won't be tolerated. It sounds silly, but having Dan give M the "I'm serious" face tonight made me feel like part of a team again.

Day 19: Kiddie woes

One of the hardest things about Dan's deployment is trying to help the kids understand why he isn't here. Today we came home from school and P burst into tears and started talking about how much she misses her Daddy. M was okay until bedtime but then started crying because he wanted Daddy to put him to bed. Of all the moments that break my heart those are far and away the saddest. But in happier news, we're going to try to get on a more regular schedule for Facetime updates, which I think really helps the kids. Getting to see their Dad make silly faces - even if it's over the iPhone - definitely makes them smile.

Day 17 & 18: Back at home

Well we're finally back in California after a great trip to Chicago. It was so nice seeing family and friends and being reminded that even though we're out here by ourselves we're never really alone.

We were also able to talk to Dan a few times this weekend and overall things seem to be going well. He's staying busy and still just trying to adjust to his new routine. He decided to sign up for his Joint Professional Military Education course, which is a requirement before he can put on commander. I'm hoping to see a few pictures of Dan's new accomodations soon but since he's not really supposed to be photographing things we'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, I'm left imagining that his new digs look like something out of Star Wars...lots of sand, some mountains and a random city of tents in an otherwise empty place.

Day 16: Cold weather antics

We're wrapping up our trip to Chicago and I'm happy to report the kids were finally able to enjoy a little time in the snow. For whatever reason it hasn't been cold here all winter (or so I'm told...) but it really let loose this week. Freezing temps Monday and Tuesday and a festival of snow Wednesday, Thursday and today. M&P got to build a snowman with their Nana and experience the joys of wearing 15+ layers of clothing. To top it all off? A visit to one of our favorite haunts for their first ever taste of hot chocolate!

Day 15: Greetings from Salerno

Well, I have to say that FOB Salerno is different.  The sounds of helicopters contantly flying overhead has since turned into backround noise and the idea of going outside to take a shower or go to the bathroom does not seem that foreign anymore.  FOB life is okay.  We have everything that one needs; a gym, a convenience store, a post office, a chapel, Internet and all of this is nicely surrounded by razorwire and guard towers.  The days are long, mostly because our mission is drawing down and higher ups are still trying to figure out we need to do.  That being said, spirits are high here and we are all looking forward to heading home.

One thing that FOB Salerno is known for is its Cigar Club.  So Friday night everyone gets together and smokes cigars and drinks near beer.  Looking forward to checking that out tomorrow to help break up the week.

Day 14: A little Luv

Tonight I was fortunate enough to sit courtside at my very first Bull's game at United Center, courtesy of my dear friend, Casey. When I say courtside I mean my feet. were on. the court. It was absolutely amazing. I came back to my parent's house, told them about the game and promptly started crying.

Lately I am wracked with guilt for having any sort of fun. It just feels insanely unfair to be out enjoying a night on the town while my husband is stuck in the middle of nowhere doing Lord knows what at any given time. I don't know if it's really a feeling that's going to go away. But in the midst of my tears, I was reminded how truly blessed and lucky I am to have friends who are willing to help me escape for a little bit. Even a few blissful hours of not worrying and feeling normal mean more than words could ever express. Case, thanks for an incredible evening and for reminding this Mama that she is not alone. No Bull.

Day 13: News from Salerno

Dan was finally able to call tonight with an update that all is going well at Salerno. He's busy trying to figure out his new accomodations and is in the midst of attempting to adjust to his new surroundings. Well...I guess as much as anyone can adjust. But he's in good spirits and safe, which is most important. Hoping for more updates soon once we're able to figure out a better schedule for phone dates!

Day 12: Winter daze

We may be thousands of miles apart but right now we have something in common with Dan - weather. It's actually a balmy 40 degrees right now at FOB Salerno but it's only 5 degrees in Chicago. I couldn't help but check the forecast in San Diego to see that it was 80 degrees and sunny today. I definitely miss the people back here but I do not for one second miss the snowsuits!

With cold weather comes a return to indoor activities. I spent the morning with the kids at a place called Monkey Joe's jumping around on giant inflatables. We were able to meet up with some friends and the kids all had a blast. Dan finally has his email up and running and told me that he's doing fine and has gone from bored to crazy busy with work. I'm glad he's going to be busy as having time to sit around is definitely not a good thing!

Day 11: Salerno

Dan arrived in Salerno yesterday but no word yet on his new home away from home or how he's doing. Will post just as soon as we hear something. Right now we're just thankful that he's safe!

Day 10: Greetings from Bagram

Well, the trip to Bagram thus far has been interesting to say the least. Manas to Kabal to Khandahar to Kabal to Bagram and then onto Salerno all the while carrying 200 lbs of crap, or as the Army calls it, "essential battle gear". The amenities have been pretty good so far, meaning I am able to have my morning Monster energy drink and hop on the Internet. After that everything is gravy.  I don't like having to go outside in 15 degree weather to go to the bathroom, but it could be worse. All in all, I'm in good spirits and looking forward to getting to my ultimate duty stop so I can stop living out of a seabag. One week down and 270 more days in country...but who's counting?

OBTW - I am Manti Te'o's girlfriend.

Day 9: Spring 2013 fashion report

We're officially off to Chicago and I'm definitely looking forward to doing a little shopping. The great thing about living in Southern California is that your wardrobe gets extended almost year round. Dan sent me a picture the other day and it got me thinking about his new wardrobe staples. Looks like he'll be wearing fatigues this spring and his accessory of choice appears to be a sidearm. Not exactly the look I would have picked for him. Especially the glasses...I think he could do better, don't you?

Day 8: Up in the air

Dan took off for Bagram Airfield today as he continues on his journey to Salerno. He'll most likely be there for two days before heading out once more. We're also heading out tomorrow morning for our trip back to Chicago. I'm already dreading trying to wrangle two kids through security and onto a plane. It's not even that the kids misbehave but the whole time we're at the airport I'm equally terrified of 1.) them getting lost and 2.) what they're going to touch and/or put in their mouths. Just...disgusting.

One thing I will not be complaining about tomorrow is getting to fly commercial. Dan was fortunate enough today to get a first class seat on Air Afghanistan (also know as a military flight.) Judging from the picture I'm going to guess they don't serve peanuts and snack mix.

Day 7: Updates from Kandahar

Late last night Dan called to tell me he's gotten his final orders. He'll be stationed at FOB Salerno, which I believe is about 100 miles east of Kandahar. I tried to look up the specific location but of course that leads to stories that I absolutely DO NOT need to read. Dan is in relatively good spirits and right now said the worst thing is the boredom. Until he actually arrives at Salerno he's not really working so there's a lot of time to wander around the base.

Yesterday he stumbled upon an area called The Boardwalk that apparently has the kind of restaurants you'd expect to see at your local stripmall - Subway, KFC, Panda Express, Pizza Hut, etc. He said it's incredibly surreal to be in the middle of Afghanistan and see all these things that feel like they're terribly out of place. I know it sounds weird but somehow the idea that we could both be sitting at a table eating a bucket of KFC fried chicken seems comforting. Although...yeah, that will never, ever happen. Nope. Never.

Day 6: Sitting, waiting, wishing...

Dan was supposed to find out today where he's going to be stationed for the foreseeable future. It's almost 8pm my time and I haven't heard from him yet. The hardest part of this adventure so far has been the waiting. Waiting to leave. Waiting to get answers. Waiting for phone calls. Waiting for updates. I'm a no-nonsense kind of gal. I like answers, facts, clearly outlined plans with corresponding deadlines. All this sitting around wondering leads to an idle mind, which is basically the worst thing you can have when your husband is in the middle of a war zone. We both have to give it time but I'm hoping once he's grounded somewhere we'll be able to have more of a regular schedule for check-ins. Until then, I'll be in search of distractions!

Day 5: Man of the house

One of my girlfriends has a husband in the FBI who sometimes has to go away on long trips. She told me once that it's amazing how much the kids step up when Daddy isn't around. I'm definitely noticing the same thing. M in particular has been doing a lot around the house. Last night after dinner he kept running back and forth to the bathroom with dishes. When I asked him what he was doing he said, "I'm helping you clean up, Mommy." He was taking all of the dishes to wash in the bathroom sink where he can reach. I'm happy to have his help but think I may need to draw the line at his recent request to start wearing deodorant "like Daddy!"

Day 4: War wound

Whenever one of the kids gets hurt Dan lovingly calls it a "war wound" to show them that it's cool to have a boo boo (and to help mitigate the hysterical crying.) Today M bonked his head on the windowsill while climbing around on the couch. I took one look at the gash above his eye and made an executive decision to head to Urgent Care. Three hours later, we managed to avoid stitches and left with a Band-Aid, a bill and a bunch of stickers.

Image courtesy educational-b.blogspot.com

And we just got an update that Dan is about to board a plane for his next destination - Kandahar. From there, he'll get his official orders to his new home away from home. Lots of prayers that he's headed someplace boring where nothing exciting ever, ever happens.

Day 3: Greetings from Manas

Yesterday Dan arrived at Manas Air Base in Kyrgzstan. He's there until tomorrow when he'll head down to Kandahar and find out his next station. I say tomorrow but really mean today since he's now 14 hours ahead of us. It's so odd to have him eating breakfast while we're getting ready for dinner. But he appears to be in good spirits as evidenced by this picture and our Facetime date this afternoon.

In other news...I took two children to a birthday party today at Chuck E. Cheese. By myself. Pandemonium. Then, because apparently I hadn't punished myself enough, we stopped at Trader Joe's and the park. Now, I am counting down the seconds until 5:00 so I can break out my glass of wine. 5..4..3..2..later!

Day 2: Rest(less)

M&P are my reasons for waking up every day and trying to be optimistic. They're struggling in their own unique ways with not having their Daddy at home. One of the ways they're coping with the separation is to crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. Given, it's lovely to have a warm little body snuggled up against you in an otherwise empty space. That being said, anyone with children knows that they simply do not stay put once they're asleep. These blissfully unaware monkeys thrash, kick, claw, slap and otherwise force me out of bed. Not that it matters much because truthfully I'm not all that tired these days. But there will hopefully come a time when I do want a peaceful nights rest so I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Day 1: Now what?

Today my husband got on a plane and flew to Afghanistan. We've know this day was coming for the past three months but somehow it all feels fresh again. Dan was an officer in the US Navy for nine years before leaving active duty in exchange for a desk job. He decided to stay in the Navy Reserves but we never really thought he'd be called up again for a deployment. Apparently we were very wrong about that one.

I'm starting this blog as a way to share with friends and family - maybe even strangers - what it's like to be on the other end of a deployment. I can't promise my posts will be witty or even remotely entertaining. What I am committed to is sharing the truth about the ups and downs, the hardships, the good and the bad that comes with being a mom, wife, sister, friend, co-worker and military spouse. I hope you'll join me for our journey.